One day, something in my sternum hardened and cooled. It became so petrified that it locked my breath, locked my words in deep chests. My jaws clenched and hurt, my teeth chafed from friction, my hands twisted in spasm, my back and neck became immobile. Something alive, soft, and loving turned into frozen fog, ice. And you can no longer see what is hidden behind it, or inside it, because I have forgotten why it happened.
An opaque fog-ice of pain, disappointments, rejections, memories. Like an inner wall that does not let anything in and does not let anything out. And it rings with silence, it rings like crystal. The kingdom of snow and ice. Closed in itself, not free, slavishly twisted.
But there are keys to slowly melting that ice, turning it into a lake of melted water.
The first key is letting go. Let go of the empty. Let go of what is not yours. Let go of the prickly, dirty, smelly things. Let go of the pain. Let it come out of you, set it free, let it go. And it will go away. And a little bit of ice will melt.
Love is the key. To love is to transform slavery into freedom. Love for life as a state of being already includes all other loves as components of one's life and world. Love breaks through the crystal of hostility and melts some more ice.
The key is gratitude. When you feel grateful, fear disappears and you have enough of everything. Fear disappears and you stop being afraid that you will not be loved. And you start loving yourself, rejoicing that you are here.
Another key is mindfulness. Open your eyes and look carefully at what is around you, observe. Listen to what the world means to you, and what your bones whisper at night. Listen to how your hair and nails grow, how your sweat pours out. Breathe, walk.
The key is kindness, which is innate. Which is just like the other side. Pay attention to it.